I have a friend named Chris who is the proto-typical good guy and in fact he’s such a do-gooder that he’s willing to be stepped on just to prevent any altercation from happening. The poor dude has friends who would routinely force him to do things that he doesn’t agree with. To make things short, Chris fails to stand up for himself and worse he’s already forgetting how to use the two things that made him a man in the first place-his balls.
There are had been many situations wherein things would have been better when we could have been assertive. Being assertive is different from being aggressive because the former is all about getting what you want and what you believe in a rational way. The worst thing that could probably happen to any decent man is do something that is against his principles. Some examples would be if someone forces you to be someone you’re not or worse, when one of your co-workers humiliated you in front of everybody.
Some people would just let those things happen without doing anything but then again for sure you won’t feel comfortable at all. The good thing is that there is a way for you not to look like a mere pushover especially when it counts.
1.Watch your Body Language
Sometimes when you’re in a tight situation especially when you’re being defamed, our body automatically moves in a way that tells of giving up. For sure that’s not one of the ways of being assertive because that’s just one of the classic signs that you are a doormat. So how would you go about it? The first thing that you should always remember is minimize these unnecessary movements. Look the person in the eye and stand up straight. Apart from that if that guy is not yet done blabbering, never interrupt. Once you’ve ascertained that he’s done with his litany make sure that you hold your ground without flinching. That’s the first step to having the brass balls that you’ve always wanted.
2.Always Talk in Active Form
The one thing that should always remember when defending your beliefs or motives is that it isn’t a debate. Very few people know how to debate properly and for sure the jackass in front of you isn’t. Start your sentence with “I” and never apologize until they haven’t heard your side first. When in front of your boss, be firm and always remember not to use indecent words that can be used against you. On the other hand, after you’re done and you think that you’ve said something inappropriate apologize for it, but never for the things that you fought for.
3.Watch your Voice
During the heat of the moment we would not be aware of the tone of our voice and that’s normal. Basically, never stutter nor mumble because that shows that you’re already giving it to the other party. Always be cool and keep a poker face in the situation because people are excellent face-readers. Every reaction that your face shows might mean something and although it’s nearly impossible to keep track of it, always try to minimize your facial expressions.
4.End
Once you’ve already stood up for yourself, you should be the one to end the fracas. Because when you make a stand that means, you’re accepting the consequences of what you are fighting for even if they’re favorable or not. Making a stand means choosing a side and that means that you are willing to be uncooperative and unreasonable to make a point. I am not saying that you become stubborn because making a stand only happens when things are against what you believe in and you don’t want any part of the whole scheme.
